Just a small update

Well I figured since I have been home just over 2 days I better give some sort of an update. I am glad to be home. This trip was extremly hard. I made it through the services. I seemed to do better at the church than at the graveside one.( I will get to that in a few).
Grandpa just didnt look like Grandpa. I dont think anyone knew just how bad he had gotten I sure hadnt otherwise I would have gone out sooner. However I dont think I could handle seeing him so sick he had always been so strong. Even though the circumstances surrounding my visit were not good ones I still enjoyed my visit with my family. I stayed a night with my grandma  and that was real nice. My family seemed suprised I volunteered to do it Why be suprised? I would have stayed permantly if I could have.
The service for Grandpa was standing room only. Such a great turnout for such an amazing man. I got to see people I hadnt in years. The service was a good one. I now regret not getting up and telling my fav memory of Grandpa. I know everyone would have loved it.
When I was little and had super long hair. Grandpa would take me to Dairy Queen in his Jeep and we would go get dipped ice cream cones( who all remembers those). Well since it was summer the Jeep wouldnt have its top on and my hair wouldnt be pulled back so when we would get back to the house i think I had more ice cream in my hair than in my belly. Grandma would be so mad at Grandpa and Grandpa would just smile his smile and chuckle his chuckle. That is a smile I miss so much I miss it. There are so many good memories of Grandpa we cant let them die. So as they pop into my head I might just blog about it.
Grandpa was a Marine so they did a graveside service and I really couldnt handle it. I lost it in more ways than one. I think my aunts got scared I was crying so hard and my teeth were shattering seeing the casket at graveside just made it that much more real. I dont know if I cried more because he is now with my Angel Jaxson or if I cried because I didnt think it was fair for my grandpa to get go. I just know I cried so hard and couldnt contain it. I really felt sick. I managed though and know that until I get to heaven Grandpa Ross is with Jaxson. I am sure grandpa and jaxson will be fishing and hunting buddies in heaven. Grandpa finally can get the buck that got away.
Well since I said I was going to update and I forgot.. oops I left my job @ au bon pain ( franchise ) on July 18, 2008. I bet you are wondering where I am working @ now right. I am not. I left for discrimination reasons and am glad to be unemployed stressing but glad I amnot working in that enviroment any longer.
I am currently seeking a job any ideas you think I should try for email me and let me know. I am open for suggestions.

Grandpa telling Skyler a bear story in Jan 2008.. this is the last picture I have of Grandpa with Skyler

Grandpa Tell Us About The Good Old Days

Its something I wish I could say one more time hear his voice one more time see him one more time. All I have are memories of him and even some of those seem faded. It is so hard to know that not one more time will I hear grandpa voice, feel his hugs , or see him. Its hard knowing that he wont sit in his big old recliner and tell the same stories about bears, fishing or hunting. It really hurts that the most wonderful man a person can meet has gone to be with Jesus. Grandpa knew it was his time but was the rest of the family aware grandpa seemed to know, Grandpa knew when he went to the hospital he wasnt going to be going home. The home he had lived in with Grandma for so many years. The one house we all knew was our "home". Nothing seems the same now.... Holidays wont be the same.

Home.. thats what Grandma and Grandpas house was it was home. No matter where life took us grandkids or great grandkids and their kids. That house was home. It hasnt changed much in the years except maybe gotten smaller or is it that the family has grown. The Ross house has always been filled with love and always an open door policy. No more walking in and seeing Grandpa sitting at the table or in his chair. No more garden with enough vegetables to feed the family and then some. No more Thanksgiving or Christmas where Grandpa roasts us out of the house.. Was that his way of telling us when it was time go.. No we tell ourselfs thats his way of showing us cozy.
As I am sitting here thinking of my grandpa who just passed away I am reminded that family is so important and that its all you really have in life. If you dont have anything else you have your family. They are the ones that stand by us, the ones that give us their all, the ones who dont let us fail. In everything we do who stands by us. Our family. What is going to happen to us as a family when the one person who held us together isnt there anymore? Are we going to fall out of touch with each other, are we going to get closer and charish all the good times and the bad times. So many questions lie unanswered.
It is sad that the only time all of us are together is in bad times. WHY? its something that I dont understand is why...Family needs to stand by each other in good and bad not just in bad. WHY cant we all get together to celebrate a new life and not one leaving the earth why is it we as a family cant get together to just get together why is there has to be a reason to be together.  I have so many questions that are left unanswered for my grandpa. and I will have to wait til I meet him in heaven. I know he was ready to go but who says we are ready to let him go. Why is it the ones left behind have no say.
I know Grandpa died with something he wanted.. He had grandma and his sons and the peace of mind that Mike was ok. I wish that Grandpa had been able to see Mike before Grandpa died. But they shared phone calls, and letters and thats what is most of important. Grandpa knew that Mike was ok.. and I hope Mike realizes just how much Grandpa loves him and always did.
Grandpa tonight when I go to bed and I cry myself to sleep yes I am sad but mainly its because Im remembering you and all the memories that go with you. Grandpa I dont think you realize how much you mean to me. I never got to say it enough how much I love you.
Take care of your great grandson til I get there grandpa..

Happy Fourth of July

Today was a pretty normal day for me. I worked and did the welcome home a hero at work. Welcome home a hero is where the USO and community memebers welcome home troops that are coming home on R and R. Its great to watch and be a part of. I have pictures from the one on Fathers Day that I will post soon I forgot my camera for this one but its a big deal @ DFW airport.
Today while I was working my cell phone rang and it was a dear online friend one who I want to meet so badly but @ first I lived in Cali and she was in OK. Now she is in OK and I am only about four hours away but we still havent had a chance to meet. But today would have been the day had she not wanted to suprise me, had she told me she had a layover here.. but nooooooooooooooooo I get a phone call this am saying where are you.. Im at work why ( it took me a few) oh where at are you at work.. im at international arrivals in D. Me- wait , why are you here.. why didnt you tell me I could have had the day off.. I tried to get to go see her but my boss was busy otherwise I would have loved to go see her and B and Ryan. Hopefully sometime soon we can get together.. ( although I would prefer for it to be when Skyler is around). So Antoinette have a good trip in North Carolina and I realy wish I could have met you today. Sometime soon.. we will get together..

neither one of them are good pics because im still learning how to use both my cameras on this feature but these are a couple of the fireworks we saw they were beautiful. I loved getting to watch them this year just wish Skyler was with us.

Tonight for the 4th it was just me, my mom, my sister and her boyfriend. We werent real sure what we all wanted to do.. So after I took a nice nap, and my mom went and got strawberries and angel food cake  we decided to head to Fuddruckers ( http://www.fuddruckers.com/) for dinner. I love that place the burgers are great. I try it a little different each time I go. We then decided to head to Las Colinas and watch fireworks in Williams Square. It was nice I got a few decent pictures I didnt realize how difficult  it was to get the pictures of the fireworks. I didnt talk to Skyler today ( as he is in California still) but according to my brother they were going to blow things up. Hopefully someone got a couple pics of Skyler that I will get when they come home. Still dont know when that is. Boy is our house lonely with out him. But its allowing me to start on some projects and actually finish them..( this week im finishing his bedroom). Next week  I will start on some crafty type projects like Christmas ornaments and the soaps and salts and scrubs.. I got some new scents the other day and cant wait to try them out. Well it is time for me to hit my pillow and get some shut eye tomorrow is a big day for me my cousin Patrick is going back to Afganistan for the next year. If everyone can keep him in your prayers we would apperciate it.